Phantastic Phanny...

I guess I should win the gold cross for my titles - don't ask me where I get them from.

I've been away from these pages for awhile and have come to appreciate the solemn moments that my time away has given me - solemn moments spent working at my 9 -5 job (realistically my day starts at about 5:00 am every day and terminates at 11:00 pm) trying to earn the money that pays for the shirt on my back.

Apart from this endeavor the meaning of my life at any rate is defined by trying to earn "a living" - to move up in a world full of foolish ideals. I see in my mind's eye: the collective group of humanity as nothing more than rats running round a maze designed by a crazy scientist - who delights in tricking, prodding, testing our limits and endurance just because he can...

We by no means make it any easier for ourselves. We agree to this by not saying a collective no to this slave like mentality to process. By not stepping back from the situation, by not learning from our mistakes.

I have gotten to a point where it appears my current life is concerned with NOTHING ELSE apart from my current job - my family, my personal endeavors, my talents - all have been cast aside to face the expectation of moving forward with my life (paying bills and earning a living)

I don't even want to focus on what part of my life is suffering or for how long this must go on...

It isn't even only about me...

It involves everyone around me who does the daily grind to such an extent that their very lives now revolves around the nucleus of "work"

More work, much more work and then some more...

I guess that's what is responsible for the varied forms of distractions that we find ourselves drawn to - perhaps as a means to mourn our lost lives or purpose or our "FU*K You! response.

Karaoke bars, clubs, strip clubs, wine and women - these are just a few distractions that has man by his short and curlies.

Patently pathetic...
Can we save ourselves?
It would be better if we could pick our poisons and then do that which is our choice - the regrets would be minimal and they would be as a result of our choices alone and not options imposed on us by society's expectations.

What a life...

Give me the playboy mansion for a week - I don't think I would score with any of the bunnies but it would be a welcome distraction from this drudgery that life has become.

Close your eyes briefly and let your mind wander...

Think of those hidden fantasies that are begging for fulfillment (make them the safe sort though) and imagine that this could be granted to you - right now...

Think of your deepest heart's desires and needs and imagine that you could have them now - right this very minute.

Now open your eyes and look around...

Obviously reality is over rated right?