You cannot become what you did not perceive

The jury is still out on this topic title and time will tell if the assertions stated here will hold its weight in gold or will be discarded.
Here is a thought. How can you become something that you did not perceive?
It would be different if we allowed the random acts of fate or nature to occur and steer you in the required direction but then again; you would still need to be made aware of exactly where your journey would lead you to. If not the journey then at least the final destination.

Truth be told; how can you become something that your mind never pictures at some point? How can you become a teacher, scientist, doctor, lawyer without having first pondered on any of these career paths?

Even if the path was foisted on you there is a choice and point when you mind embraces the path and begins to perceive the possibility of the new path.

We cannot become something that we did not at some point perceive. It is not the nature of things.

Self Appreciation and the Journey to being a better person

Your are what you believe and yet even that is not true - people believe one thing and do another.
Maybe not in whole but in a large part - your thoughts, opinions, environment continue to sift and shape your individual identity.

Seemingly inconsequential actions continue to shape you to no small degree. By who and what you interact with, by the very choices you make or don't make, by the company you chose to keep or not keep, by your wants or needs.

In today's world where identity is a transient thing in constant flux - it is sometimes harder than ever to pin ourselves to an accountable standard. Have we really fallen so low that we cannot provide the compass of moral direction to our affairs.

Do we lack guiding principles?
In this quest for identity - our state of well-being - tied often to our earning power, our perception by society as being either successful or not continues to shape our lucid attempts at self portrayal.

Can we not maintain some sort of code of conduct - if we chose to run foul; then let us at least be steadfast in that regard. We will and wish for change but are scarcely ready for it when it comes.

It is so much surprising how we are caught unawares - in this battle of balance that is often skewed against us based on the very choices we make or don't make for that matter.

Often sacrificing our better judgement of moral necessity on the bed rocks of greed and materialism and to what purpose? A short lived life that is spent amassing wealth and nothing else?

I constantly admit my failings to myself not because it think it makes me a better person but to constantly remind myself that if i chose to deceive the whole world - let me not fall foul of myself. To thine self be true.

Shalom.

The greatest gift is: LOVE

breathe...
That's almost the first thing you forget when falling in love with something or someone.
You forget to breathe.

It doesn't mean that you have embraced a death wish nor does it mean that your respiratory functions have failed - its just means that you have surrendered the process of logic to take up the process of emotionally charged moments of turbulent Highs and Lows.

You remember the feeling don't you?

That need to constantly suck up this thing or person as if you could consume them into yourself. The sense of intensity that sets your wires abuzz. Beating heart that yields to excitement at the mere thought. The way you find your body reacting like a machine out of control.

However after the buzz, when the nerves settle down - the reality still holds true.
The reality indicates that there is hard work involved as in all things but the emotionally packed journey always produces the drama that makes love or falling in love a beautiful experience.

Love with every fibre of everything in your body, love with your entire heart- love until it feels like a raw open wound - love when you have nothing to gain - love with everything you have to give even when people call you foolish.

These dark and powerful emotions

Confess to me...
Tell me those dark emotions that typically besiege your thought horizons like dark clouds just before a storm. You know what i mean... Those thoughts that ramble in your head that you chose to give a voice to or not as the case dictates.

they hound you and crash against your shores like relentless waves and unless a means is devised to lessen their impact - they may just surge into your lands and lay waste to all you have achieved - if you let them.

And this is typically the choice we are often thrust into...
Do we give substance to our anger or do we ignore it at our peril?

Do we asasume that our passions and lusts and anger give us the right to act?
How can we tell when it is appropriate give substance to inner demons and when they should be banaished from thoughts into the nether regions that they came from?

How do we tackle and manage their impact on our thoughts and words and actions?

We are all composites of our most frequent thoughts and what we choose to think about gradually defines who we become over a period of time - we become our thoughts so to speak.

Thus if i give anger and drak passions a front burner in my thoughts they begin to define who and what i am - this is what makes humans so dynamic - this is the crux of our internal programming and wiring.

We can literally change these codes on the fly by what we permit within our minds.

To be in the grip of these emotions to be wrestled and pushed continiously from side to side as they buffer your cells in a rush of vast conflict.

Let us emerge into the sunligh and desimate the darkness with light.
Let us determine the thoughts we will permit and MAKE a conscious effort to school our minds - let us evolve into thoughts of health and success and objectives.

If I was GOD....

For those naysayers or others who will probably call me a heretic or loose cannon or a delusional delinquent without a belief in GOD - (you know the drill by now) and are entirely entitled to your own opinions.

I am NOT GOD - i make no claim to this nor will i EVER have the requirements to meet this esteemed position.
I am however human and in my many follies and failings - I have had these all too brief flights of fancy for those moments when anger, frustration and irritation have been the familiar stimulus for my often turbulent emotions.

You can't say that you haven't had these moments where you crave the power of GOD (albeit briefly or all too briefly - okay; for large moments of time) to smite your would be aggressors and make them pay the price for their transgressions and other failings and probably hold or call out to you for mercy and pardon, while you look upon them with disdain and righteous anger.

But wait a minute...
That just sounded like a resume for me and you!
That's right - we're those aggressors - the very ones that you're talking and thinking about - that makes your blood boil over.

This morning while I was on my way to work - I was looking at a display that is so rife in this time of ours - where antics of road rage and other illogical behaviours where blatantly displayed by a whole lot of people - I could probably argue that I was the victim but I realized that even the ride I hitched (a two wheel contraption referred to in our local parlance as an "okada") was guilty of contravening the same laws and I by extension had permitted it due to my silence - for silence IS consent.

If I was GOD - I would hit the evil doers with the consequence of their actions but I stopped and realized that even in today's world - there resides a purpose for all actions (Good as well as Evil) - all serves a purpose in the grand scheme of things - all is a means to an end. Also if I hit today - somebody out there would probably HIT me back when his/her turn came to assume the GOD like powers.

Fortunately GOD - has granted humanity the gift of choice and yet due to our short sightedness - we have consistently made decisions that have brought woe and dread to subsequent generations after "WE" the original decision makers are long gone from this world. It hasn't always been all bad choices but it could have been better.

If I was GOD - I would do something drastic but then suddenly i realized - if someone else where GOD - he/she would do some equally drastic things and I would be equally affected by that decision.

If I was GOD - I would probably give in to my caprices and short term feelings of anger, fear, frustration and power drunken self adulation.

Therefore and most humbly - I am thankful that I am NOT GOD or never will be.

What did santa get me?

We're on the eve of Christmas and so much yearning exists - so many questions requiring answers - answers we may not be ready to face up to. I am equally wondering...

What does this year mean me?
What would I have done differently?
What would I do again?
What can i improve for the coming year beginning with now?
How do I feel about me?
How did I fare towards those around me?

If the answers come out largely positive (if you are truthful) then I guess you're well on the path to becoming a better you - if not there is always room for improvement.

This is to the self examination that you should probably undergo - may the light shine inwards and expose the areas that require improvement...

God bless you

Ironic bits and maddening fits...

I've been awhile away from these pages - and now by mutual consent - as part of a very interesting turn of events and conversations - I'm back!

Your know who you are aimeeshore - THANK YOU!

Ironic that I'm here under these conditions.
To stare down a fear of words or their lack there of.
To awaken the beast of these ink filled corridors.
To wallow in this cess-pitt of emotions begging for expression.

that wasn't so hard - ironic that a lover of words like myself has run far way from the ink spewing ways of the writer. have you ever wanted something so bad that you ignored everything just to have that object of desire...

Ironic that it takes another in the dire straits like mine to awaken the burden to spew these words like vomit on the sidewalk.

Words and me are intertwined like the thorn and rose...
Inseparable as always.