Phatprick

The greatest gift is: LOVE

2012-01-26T07:40:00.000-08:00

breathe...
That's almost the first thing you forget when falling in love with something or someone.
You forget to breathe.

It doesn't mean that you have embraced a death wish nor does it mean that your respiratory functions have failed - its just means that you have surrendered the process of logic to take up the process of emotionally charged moments of turbulent Highs and Lows.

You remember the feeling don't you?

That need to constantly suck up this thing or person as if you could consume them into yourself. The sense of intensity that sets your wires abuzz. Beating heart that yields to excitement at the mere thought. The way you find your body reacting like a machine out of control.

However after the buzz, when the nerves settle down - the reality still holds true.
The reality indicates that there is hard work involved as in all things but the emotionally packed journey always produces the drama that makes love or falling in love a beautiful experience.

Love with every fibre of everything in your body, love with your entire heart- love until it feels like a raw open wound - love when you have nothing to gain - love with everything you have to give even when people call you foolish.

These dark and powerful emotions

2011-09-03T05:30:00.000-07:00

Confess to me...
Tell me those dark emotions that typically besiege your thought horizons like dark clouds just before a storm. You know what i mean... Those thoughts that ramble in your head that you chose to give a voice to or not as the case dictates.

they hound you and crash against your shores like relentless waves and unless a means is devised to lessen their impact - they may just surge into your lands and lay waste to all you have achieved - if you let them.

And this is typically the choice we are often thrust into...
Do we give substance to our anger or do we ignore it at our peril?

Do we asasume that our passions and lusts and anger give us the right to act?
How can we tell when it is appropriate give substance to inner demons and when they should be banaished from thoughts into the nether regions that they came from?

How do we tackle and manage their impact on our thoughts and words and actions?

We are all composites of our most frequent thoughts and what we choose to think about gradually defines who we become over a period of time - we become our thoughts so to speak.

Thus if i give anger and drak passions a front burner in my thoughts they begin to define who and what i am - this is what makes humans so dynamic - this is the crux of our internal programming and wiring.

We can literally change these codes on the fly by what we permit within our minds.

To be in the grip of these emotions to be wrestled and pushed continiously from side to side as they buffer your cells in a rush of vast conflict.

Let us emerge into the sunligh and desimate the darkness with light.
Let us determine the thoughts we will permit and MAKE a conscious effort to school our minds - let us evolve into thoughts of health and success and objectives.

If I was GOD....

2011-05-31T00:04:00.000-07:00

For those naysayers or others who will probably call me a heretic or loose cannon or a delusional delinquent without a belief in GOD - (you know the drill by now) and are entirely entitled to your own opinions.

I am NOT GOD - i make no claim to this nor will i EVER have the requirements to meet this esteemed position.
I am however human and in my many follies and failings - I have had these all too brief flights of fancy for those moments when anger, frustration and irritation have been the familiar stimulus for my often turbulent emotions.

You can't say that you haven't had these moments where you crave the power of GOD (albeit briefly or all too briefly - okay; for large moments of time) to smite your would be aggressors and make them pay the price for their transgressions and other failings and probably hold or call out to you for mercy and pardon, while you look upon them with disdain and righteous anger.

But wait a minute...
That just sounded like a resume for me and you!
That's right - we're those aggressors - the very ones that you're talking and thinking about - that makes your blood boil over.

This morning while I was on my way to work - I was looking at a display that is so rife in this time of ours - where antics of road rage and other illogical behaviours where blatantly displayed by a whole lot of people - I could probably argue that I was the victim but I realized that even the ride I hitched (a two wheel contraption referred to in our local parlance as an "okada") was guilty of contravening the same laws and I by extension had permitted it due to my silence - for silence IS consent.

If I was GOD - I would hit the evil doers with the consequence of their actions but I stopped and realized that even in today's world - there resides a purpose for all actions (Good as well as Evil) - all serves a purpose in the grand scheme of things - all is a means to an end. Also if I hit today - somebody out there would probably HIT me back when his/her turn came to assume the GOD like powers.

Fortunately GOD - has granted humanity the gift of choice and yet due to our short sightedness - we have consistently made decisions that have brought woe and dread to subsequent generations after "WE" the original decision makers are long gone from this world. It hasn't always been all bad choices but it could have been better.

If I was GOD - I would do something drastic but then suddenly i realized - if someone else where GOD - he/she would do some equally drastic things and I would be equally affected by that decision.

If I was GOD - I would probably give in to my caprices and short term feelings of anger, fear, frustration and power drunken self adulation.

Therefore and most humbly - I am thankful that I am NOT GOD or never will be.

What did santa get me?

2010-12-24T08:52:00.000-08:00

We're on the eve of Christmas and so much yearning exists - so many questions requiring answers - answers we may not be ready to face up to. I am equally wondering...

What does this year mean me?
What would I have done differently?
What would I do again?
What can i improve for the coming year beginning with now?
How do I feel about me?
How did I fare towards those around me?

If the answers come out largely positive (if you are truthful) then I guess you're well on the path to becoming a better you - if not there is always room for improvement.

This is to the self examination that you should probably undergo - may the light shine inwards and expose the areas that require improvement...

God bless you

Ironic bits and maddening fits...

2010-10-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

I've been awhile away from these pages - and now by mutual consent - as part of a very interesting turn of events and conversations - I'm back!

Your know who you are aimeeshore - THANK YOU!

Ironic that I'm here under these conditions.
To stare down a fear of words or their lack there of.
To awaken the beast of these ink filled corridors.
To wallow in this cess-pitt of emotions begging for expression.

that wasn't so hard - ironic that a lover of words like myself has run far way from the ink spewing ways of the writer. have you ever wanted something so bad that you ignored everything just to have that object of desire...

Ironic that it takes another in the dire straits like mine to awaken the burden to spew these words like vomit on the sidewalk.

Words and me are intertwined like the thorn and rose...
Inseparable as always.

To Perceive: To scatter the dark clouds of ignorance with knowledge

2010-07-14T04:19:00.000-07:00

In the gloom of the dark cave without any form of light, the strange shapes of humanoids hurdled together to gather heat and provide warmth among themselves. Howling winds snaking their way into the gathering occasioned by the flickering flashes of lightening and followed by the claps of thunder that would cause wails and moans from the un-nerved among this gathering.

This of course provided an admirable image when seen from an omni-present vantage point - a GOD who watched his creations at work and saw how they interacted amongst themselves and their environment.

Without this early man was doomed to certain death from the harsh and uncharted elements of nature.

Alas - many eons have passed and we are far removed those days but some of those pre-historic instincts are still part of our all to human heritage. Although the group mentality is somewhat modified and alot of the uncharted has become known, we're all still hurdling together in one way or another. We have our social clans, our functional or hunting clans - as you can probably deduce by now; there are many clans and each clan provides a support structure and pecking order to the individual members.

The role of perception in this equation is the availability of knowledge to explain or to find the logic behind the unknown phenomenons or mysteries surrounding us.

Perception is the key that unlocks the secrets of the unknown - allowing the light of inquiry to dissect and expose the general principles behind these "terrors" that defy explanations from times gone past.

Perception is the gentle blade that slices through the veil of the unknown - parting it gentle to slowly reveal what lies clouded or unclear.

The greater the level of perception the more awareness we gain of that which had formerly defied all explanation. To perceive is to gain understanding through the senses and to arrive at a conclusion that exposes what was formerly a mystery.

We grow our perception through constant use and meditation and by opening our senses to the very things around us, we can gently ponder on their significance and how they fit into the grand scheme of things.
Perception is an internal and external process.

A mind that is emptied of worries and other insignificant processes will be best suited for the task of perception - an inner gleam that is both conscious and unconscious.

An art and a science - it straddles both in ways that defy explanation.

But its usefulness cannot be over stated.

It served us well then just as it still serves us now.

Why are "YOU" so complicated...

2010-05-09T07:04:00.000-07:00

Is any one scratching their head at this junction? I know I am. I can't help it. I always need to give my brain some kind of mental workout and perhaps divert it from the needless worries that seem to plague it on a daily basis.

Why am I complicated? Why is the world complicated? The answer is apparently simple enough. Simply take note of all the complicated people with their complicated ways of life and you have the answer staring at you. We complicate the world because we ARE the world. The world is not a separate living entity that came into being to add strife and pestilence into our lives. The world became what it is because of the ME's and YOU's and our volatile, all to human action and reactions.

We fail to grasp the big picture and our role in making it all come together. We fail to realize how really interconnected we all are and how it depends on all of us to make it work. We fail to see how helping each other is really the key to helping ourselves and getting what we need/want perhaps just not at the time it was wanted.

We all see the overall complications and grand standings that we all put into our lives to create some relevance to onlookers. The drama of everyday living is a vastly entertaining soap opera that seems to make a better showing than television. What else can you say when life begins to imitate art instead of the other way around.

When I look at myself - I have to come to terms to with my greed, selfishness and utter concern for my goals - hence if I see these things and I know they exist in me why the hell do I think they shouldn't exist in others to a varying degree as well?

I can identify the shallowness and little showings of relevance and have come to despise it - I have always been an advocate of the group mind. where the greater good defines the purpose for which disparate minds come together to solve bigger problems that affect each and all. If we all leveraged this ability to solve our various problems - we would undoubtedly become more powerful, more efficient, more effective.

Why then does this elude us? Because we're "complicated" .
We're utterly elusive with the facts and fail to see the benefit to the greater good and how we all benefit.

We hide behind our pettiness and grand-standings and trappings. We are victims of our desires and wants, while our real needs go about unfulfilled.Show me a human being without this failing and I'll show you GOD!

The question is: Am I a happier person getting what I need or getting what I want?
And do I really know what my REAL needs are?

I plan to become a much better person and learn to live my life based on the ultimate good for all not just for me.

I plan to un-complicate my life and attempt to reduce it to ideals of simplicity. I wish my self all the luck trying to achieve this elusive goal. I wish each and all good luck in this journey.

Motives for actions

2010-03-29T09:37:00.000-07:00

What comes first? The Chicken or the egg?

What do you think? Yes, you - you know I'm referring to you. Don't look behind you. Ahh, I finally have you undivided attention.

Why would I pick motives for a discussion? That's another question for another day.

Motives are the objectives required for taking a particular line of action based on a set of conditions/criteria which have been evaluated internally. These conditions maybe personal reasons (in most cases they will indeed be personal) and thus they will undoubtedly influence the motive.

Humans are an undoubtedly selfish species like every other group on earth - our higher intelligence should actually come to our rescue but we seemingly have not learnt to harness this vast pool objectively. There in lies our quagmire.

The influence of emotions and other subjective factors have often swayed thinking in non-logical or subjective directions. It is one source of strength sometimes but in most cases it is a major hindrance and weakness.

In this light - the underlying motives required to justify action is based on these sometimes unspecified objectives of ours.

For instance in the pursuit of any female of interest, there are various considerations that make her fit a given criteria - these range from physical appearance, carriage, poise, confidence, character, integrity, intelligence, wisdom, objectivity, personality to more esoteric characteristics etc

These listed traits might to a great degree affect who decides to initiate the chase and who decides to pass the chance. And yet these are all objectives that were considered when arriving at the motive.

The motive in some cases can be intangible but it summarises the internal value map for the respective individuals.

Motive creates the necessary drive for action - motive provides purpose and purpose is the engine room of action.

My motives may not always be laudable, they may not always meet a higher moral code and they may lack integrity but the motive once it has been defined from misplaced objectives will often be itself misplaced.

The motive thus then produces the action which is characterised either a appropriate or not appropriate.
Alas man has always leaned towards the less appropriate channels.

Man's motives are a question of his inner considerations - to each man, his own.

Duality or Enter the Shadow of the monkey

2010-03-26T17:51:00.001-07:00

Something mildly amusing happened very recently.

I was having a discussion with a friend and came across a fact that is proven time and time again in our lives - we have dual purposes and reflect the nature of the monkey - we grasp one branch but never let go until we have another firmly in our grasp.

Not an odd philosophy, considering that we humans are advised and conditioned to avoid risk whenever we can - why leave the safety of the known for the uncertainty of the unknown?

Apart from the possibility of failure and the fear of the vastly unknown landscape that we find ourselves in, there is nothing that holds us back apart from our hesitation and fear to move forward.

If you doubt the logic of my thinking - here's an easy experiment:

Quit your job today. Right this minute. And do it with absolutely no fall back plan.

Don't hesitate or even think about it - rather just drop the paper and head out.

If any of you manage to do this - you will fall into that rare category that we refer to as practicing lunatics (the type that the average joe shies away from) often indicated by pointed fingers in your direction.

And yet these are the mavericks responsible for the great discoveries or achievements of our time. These are those few who have dared to go on, when they have no certainty other than their belief and curiosity.

Are we then mavericks or just benchers who have gotten used to the comfort of the back bench.

The seemingly, inconspicuousness of your existence is the opportunity presented to you - we all awaiting the birth of a true leader to arise and take his place among his peers.

We must seize the day and make the very rules that will guide us beyond our comfort zone.

I bid you a welcome to the new you.

SELF INDEPENDENCE: THE NEW "YOU"

2010-02-04T11:29:00.000-08:00

Welcome!

It has indeed been a tad long since we exchanged words, you and I.
Here I am to remedy the situation. I hope I may be pardoned for my impudence - I've always been an advocate for that in-your-face attitude that agitates people into action.
Why? Because what we have to share is more important to you than you realize.

It is the concept of independence and yours for that matter.
As the chief commanding officer of the nation of one; you stand on the threshold of great things. Great if you manage to get out of your own way and master those abilities that will propel you ahead of the pack of rats.

Your self independence is the agenda under discussion - it is the only truly worthy goal to aspire towards; in a society where the protection of numbers numbs our senses and thoughts and prevents us from risking to run against the pack.

The pack is after all a mindless body - programmed to do a bidding that has been passed down the chain of command.

This is the point where we all step up to the plate and take the decision to rally ourselves towards our personal glory and freedom. Towards our aim and aspirations.
This is not the El-dorado that the fables have spoken about: this is your chance to attain freedom.

Freedom from the constraints of a self imposed mediocre mentality.

I'm a worker - i work for the wages determined by an employer, who decides that I'm only worth so much and no more.
This same employer determines the cycles that govern my life: waking moments, eating moments, resting moments, family moments, no moments.

Suddenly after fifteen years of working you've lost touch with the reality of your situation: people, friends, family and acquaintances - you're lost in the numbers. One more knuckle head in a sea of dead drifters.

Allowing the more powerful tides to determine which direction you float towards. You no longer have an aim to aspire towards apart from a bigger employer or bigger paycheck - the bottom line has been lost because you've put your attention on the wrong things.

That said: you still have a chance (right until the day you die).
You can still savage the golden nuggets of your ambition from the smelting pot of dead dreams.

Don't take no for an answer.

Don't be your our greatest obstacle.
Don't allow anyone to determine your fate.
Don't allow excuses to hold you back.
Don't keep your dreams at bay because you're busy chasing shadows or afraid to see them through.
Don't fight your desires - people may not understand and they really don't have to (you just have to make sure you don't hurt anybody or yourself in the process)

Best of all: don't hold back in the pursuit of you.

In the new republic of self independence - you can still determine the acts that make you a notable success. in this nation of one - you are the one that truly counts.

happy self independence!

Aspire

2009-10-02T23:53:00.000-07:00

A single word title: "ASPIRE"
The verb form would have you "ASPIRING" towards a goal or greater objective.

But before we launch off into our typical tirade and practiced rant - I want you to calmly look at this humble word and try to connect to it.

What does this word mean to you?
How do you see and treat this concept?
What and where do you find yourself moving towards?

I aspire to be more than I am (that is almost a given for most of us except those who might have suicidal impulses). I aspire to be effective in what I do, I aspire for excellence in any field of endeavor that I find myself in...
I aspire for fame and fortune, for happiness and content.

However when the accolades in our heads have died down - where are we along the ladder of our aspirations? Are we really aspiring to move and propel ourselves towards a greater good?

What are those dreams that propel you? Do you even know?
The better question for me would be what my dreams and "Aspirations" (another use of aspire) are worth? Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder and my eyes have beheld the grand place held for me should my aspirations be achieved.

We are all success stories waiting to be written and even if our "books" read like a testament of hardship (the human animal detests pain and suffering) the lessons learned are worth the investment in pain, sweat and blood...

I regret not believing in myself earlier - I regret the lost time spent wishing about better situations but I will not be held back because I arrived at the party "late".

If it comes to that I'll start a party for myself all alone.

When it looks the most like success seems impossible that's when I should stubbornly refuse to yield and focus - aspire and aim towards those goals that drive me...

Reality is after all the here and now and since I control that by my beliefs and what drives me - I control the direction of my fate and life.

We all aspire for success in our chosen endeavors - we all want the inner acknowledgment that comes from deep within particularly when we have attained all or part of our aspirations.

Success has a lot of bedfellows but before it got there it was often a lonely journey.
The deeper and inner conviction that we can is part of the chain of aspiration - that which binds our dreams and goals to our purpose to attain.

Remember that to aspire is to inch towards that which we truly seek - our dedication and commitment and perseverance is required for true success.

Aspire towards that dream.

TEN RULES OF "BEING A HUMAN BEING"

2009-09-20T12:28:00.001-07:00

In my unending search for great articles on this thing we call life - I make a few discoveries along the way. A lot of these guides are basic common sense and some actually manage to knock some sense into my pattern of thinking that I might have originally been lacking. Regardless of which category I fall into there is always something to learn - some new perspective that I might not have considered or tried.

Before I go too deep into my rambling - I present to you the: Ten Rules for Being Human by Cherie Carter-Scott

Ten Rules for Being Human

by Cherie Carter-Scott

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

The gift of lady fate...

2009-09-14T15:40:00.000-07:00

Once again I am in the hands of this temptress - this paragon of mystique.
I am alone - trapped by my desires to subjugate her, to tame her and to succeed where very few before me had managed to do so.

The very specter of her - her beguiling wiles and enticing smiles continue to lure me in repeatedly like the call of the sirens - a dead man walking.
In spite of my open reluctance to fall prey...

She has seen the demise of men greater than me and yet - I still stand.

Why?

Was it because of my fascination and perseverance? Was it because I chose to stand firm in the face of her screaming wrath and brutal fury of her veiled claws...

She drew no quarters and expected none and yet there was something in her that promised me all I ever wanted only if I could pass muster and stay the course.

Each endeavor was repeatedly squashed.

It was one failure after another and yet I chose to continue because there was no other way. I had committed too much to turn back. I would not bow to the demands to give up - my spirit was tired but certain that If I kept it up she would relent.

The cult of success is guarded by the few who have seen the eyes of satan and lived to tell the tale and yet their silence was all the answer you got because they still bore the scars to prove to the disbelieving - to show as proof that they had faced down their worst fears and survived.

I would do the same and even though it would hurt me and leave me tattered and torn - I will never give up! Not to her and not on my dreams and aspirations for without them I am nothing - a rudderless ship set adrift in the tidal wave of life's currents. Subjected to the caprices of the storm's fury and scorn.

She bore down on me with venomous intent and I bore the brunt of her castrations - look, see how she has ravaged my masculinity and robbed me of my identity.

But not anymore - her time too shall pass and once more, I will tame her and make her fortunes mine.

There is no escape - only the reward that is due to me - to take that which is my right.

Fate has given me the ultimate prize - her beauty, her tempestuous nature and her favour for I stood where most had failed with the prize in plain sight.

She was a worthy goal in the end - regardless of the outcome, she was a worthy prize indeed!

This thing called: LIFE!

2009-09-14T15:38:00.000-07:00

When you slowly rise from the deep mists of sleep and slowly become aware of yourself and your environment - your thoughts are slowly pulled through the fine filters of coherence as you become aware of yourself - it is almost like a computer coming online.

In the mist of this boot up sequence you might be unfortunate to load those pesky files we refer to as the baggage of yesterday. You know what I'm referring to of course: those problems or challenges in your life that seem to stick to you like a leech on skin - they are obvious and painful and often unwanted (except of course you fall into that peculiar category that love "leeches")

Often times the greater challenge for us is the WILL to face the day and give it the "rude finger" - this is of course not to say that our problems magically disappear after this so brief moment but rather that we generate the attitude required to stay ahead of our problems and situation.

I love to read quotes of people who have defined their fates and destinies and have a few words to say on the subject - each has demonstrated a personal philosophy that seems to summarize the "ATTITUDE" required to hold life by the short and curlies regardless of how it seems to look to you right now.

By way of introduction, i give to you a few wise words from: Maya Angelou (pronounced /ˈmaɪ.ə ˈændʒəloʊ/;^[1] born Marguerite Ann Johnson on April 4, 1928)^[2] is an American autobiographer and poet. (quote from: Wikipedia)

(Once again these quotes are not mine and i make no claim to them except as a means to buttress my point of view)

Find below a few of her quotes - find in them something that resonates within you and maybe this will set you towards that which we all seek - freedom to be as we are destined to...

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.
There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.
There is a very fine line between loving life and being greedy for it.
The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.
Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.
I want all my senses engaged. Let me absorb the world's variety and uniqueness.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
Talent is like electricity. We don't understand electricity. We use it.
One isn't necessarily born with courage, but one is born with potential. Without courage, we cannot practice any other virtue with consistency. We can't be kind, true, merciful, generous, or honest.
I know why the caged bird sings.
"I've learned people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel".
History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, however, if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
When you learn, teach. When you get, give.
The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind.
Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told, 'I'm with you kid. Let's go.'

The crime is not when we stumble and fall for without stumbling/falling where would we be on the ladder of life's experiences - the crime is rather when we stumble/fall and chose to stay down in defeat - take as much time as you need while on the ground but when you get up - PLEASE GET UP!

when you are not "YOU"

2009-08-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Funny title but one that rings true in alot of our lives.
When do we cease to really be ourselves?

Is it when the expectations made on us by circumstances and situations cause us to live outside our comfort zone - how do we even know "WHO we are"?

How can we tell what we really represent - what we really desire?
When is the you who you are currently not the real you?

Why do we wear so many faces? What are we really here for?
What do we really want in our quest to live life to the fullest?

In this regard I will introduce you to an note sent to me by a colleague (for the fear of legal action: I AM NOT the author of the attached piece and make no such claim) - the words of wisdom spoken in true context - to be taken in the dose required.

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio.
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I hope this means something to you - particularly as we live through this journey we call life.

and then there was silence....

2009-07-05T11:16:00.001-07:00

for so long... these pages have stood as a testament to my wandering thoughts.
They mark the ramblings that pursue me or that make an entry into my thoughts like a familiar stranger.

I am occasionally lost as i wonder on what to write about. My past? My present? The future?
All questions that await an answer.
I miss the ability to quickly throw my words down and watch their impact.

The joy of expression is with the attendant reactions but after penning so many words a few thoughts have been formed as some sort of conclusion - temporary at this stage...

people connect mostly to stories that resound with their lives, emotions or memories.
We are shaped by what we read and our thoughts on those words. We are a sum total of our experiences as these provide the blue print that most of our decisions are based on...

what would happen to me and you without words? Would we wilt and die or simply find that one of the many facets that define us has been terminated.

What would the ensuring silence mean? Would i be less of me?

Each word; spoken or written is a nugget of power a means to entrench your ideas in someone's mind.

A means to propagate your visions and ideals - thus silence would be seen as "death"

Friday the 13th - In my own words

2009-02-22T23:28:00.001-08:00

Nothing...

Just the silence and certainty that life is as is...
No sudden terror attacks, no slashers looming around the corner.

Just a typical day with an uncertain end - we're none the wiser to its final outcome.
However, today is NOT Friday the 13th...

I face the obvious challenges that a new day brings. One is often left to wonder what the outcome is and how it will end eventually.

We are all creatures of habit - then there are those habits that mark us up as individuals and yet we're more than the sum total of our habits - we are infinitely more.

Humanity's major problem is memory...
Funny the way that came out but that's the fact or summary - we fail to draw upon the lessons in life except they have consistently wounded us, then and only then do we learn our lessons.

The same set of circumstances occur that cause war or strife or discord and consistently we have failed to draw the morals and parallels from these events.

Instead we match blindly into the same set of situations and finally yield to the same fate but on a much larger scale...

I'm just rambling as usual...

My laws or rules are very simple and I would love to share them:

Define the common denominator - that which affects the most or bring the most gain to the most number of people.
Determine how to aid others achieve their dreams and objectives without sacrificing your morals and ethics.
Play the silent counselor in the background.
Compromise is the name of the game - what matters is the final outcome not the present situation
Align yourself with like minded people and multiply the effects of your actions
Be determined and focused

Just a few rules to lead one down the path of greatness...

I would rather be quietly acknowledged than to be loudly ignored...

In my words...

MAN's collective purpose and the great scheme of things

2009-01-16T06:12:00.001-08:00

Once again the silence is shattered.
The need is to once more come clean - to confess of the exploits of my mind.

There was a time when this would have been a laughable offense, these days - it is not so funny.
In fact there was a time when in my naivety - I assumed the world to be a simple place with simple rules, which only needed to be followed for all to be alright.

Oh the misery of time and the lessons learned.
Now I only too well understand - there are no absolutes.
There are only choices and the effects that the said choice or choices has - that is all.

It was indeed a sober time for me - to step back and see how my innocence and naivety where gradually eroded over time.

the bible refers to it as: breaking the hedge.

I have since broken mine in several places and all manner of cretins are now pouring in - I am a little afraid of the eventual outcome and the complacency of my morals.

The edict of man is a complex treaty - it requires more than anything else an understanding of our natures and the diversity that defines us.

It calls on us to give more of ourselves in the understanding of each other and hence that which animates us to achieve exploits of significance.

How much we can achieve depends on our abilities, motivations and support pillars (people, belief or temperament) and yet this are not the end of the list.

I have seen that humanity is no different from ever other system or colony made of diverse parts - each with a specified function and task - each assigned a role.

If the parameters of communication are well defined - you yield a system that works like clockwork and is as efficient as possible. If however the means of communication break down or mis-communication or misunderstanding occur then you start to witness the effects of system breakdown or parts of the system doing what they're not supposed to do.

We are a lovely species but infact we're no different than any colony of living beings - ants, beehives, lion pride, wolf pack - all follow laid down rules of behavior and conduct.

To break such rules is to single out yourself as a maverick and non-team player.

The irony however is that it usually requires one to challenge the system before great changes can be made or great advances. This normally creates moments of great tension but the rewards can often be well worth it.

The bottom line is to be part of a system that yields a result - the sum of its parts are normally greater than the collective taken together.

And that is all we require to move ahead.

Phantastic Phanny...

2008-08-26T02:28:00.000-07:00

I guess I should win the gold cross for my titles - don't ask me where I get them from.

I've been away from these pages for awhile and have come to appreciate the solemn moments that my time away has given me - solemn moments spent working at my 9 -5 job (realistically my day starts at about 5:00 am every day and terminates at 11:00 pm) trying to earn the money that pays for the shirt on my back.

Apart from this endeavor the meaning of my life at any rate is defined by trying to earn "a living" - to move up in a world full of foolish ideals. I see in my mind's eye: the collective group of humanity as nothing more than rats running round a maze designed by a crazy scientist - who delights in tricking, prodding, testing our limits and endurance just because he can...

We by no means make it any easier for ourselves. We agree to this by not saying a collective no to this slave like mentality to process. By not stepping back from the situation, by not learning from our mistakes.

I have gotten to a point where it appears my current life is concerned with NOTHING ELSE apart from my current job - my family, my personal endeavors, my talents - all have been cast aside to face the expectation of moving forward with my life (paying bills and earning a living)

I don't even want to focus on what part of my life is suffering or for how long this must go on...

It isn't even only about me...

It involves everyone around me who does the daily grind to such an extent that their very lives now revolves around the nucleus of "work"

More work, much more work and then some more...

I guess that's what is responsible for the varied forms of distractions that we find ourselves drawn to - perhaps as a means to mourn our lost lives or purpose or our "FU*K You! response.

Karaoke bars, clubs, strip clubs, wine and women - these are just a few distractions that has man by his short and curlies.

Patently pathetic...
Can we save ourselves?
It would be better if we could pick our poisons and then do that which is our choice - the regrets would be minimal and they would be as a result of our choices alone and not options imposed on us by society's expectations.

What a life...

Give me the playboy mansion for a week - I don't think I would score with any of the bunnies but it would be a welcome distraction from this drudgery that life has become.

Close your eyes briefly and let your mind wander...

Think of those hidden fantasies that are begging for fulfillment (make them the safe sort though) and imagine that this could be granted to you - right now...

Think of your deepest heart's desires and needs and imagine that you could have them now - right this very minute.

Now open your eyes and look around...

Obviously reality is over rated right?

Awash in a sea of doubt...

2008-04-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

In my mind - I am drifting...

The swirling mist of confusion clouds my mind - I am willing to clear these doubts but the conditions of life persist and refuse to be courted...

Dreams are often the key to goals and aspirations - however they are like the unattainable - simply out of reach but temptingly close...

April and the butt of jokes - April fools day...
It was a chance to pull a couple of fast ones and unwind.

It was the first day in the month and the beginning of the second quarter - as far as personal benchmarks go we're on track...

However there is still so much to do - it will require some commitment and a belief in the impossible.

Take that flying leap!

Feelings towards...

2008-02-12T00:32:00.000-08:00

It would make a great deal of sense if the world was a simple place - with simple rules and regulations to guide us through life...

Alas - life is not simple...
Therein lies the folly - my folly and the rest of the human race. I start to wonder on the justification of feelings - mine for the most part, continue to confound me on every level. I am the recipient of emotions that continue to shatter my cool poise and relative calm.

In the bracing wind of indifference the one thing that shakes my cool and humor mongering approach to life is women... On one level, I seem distant but with me great battles are fought to control my thoughts, desires - carnal and molten.

I watch them strutting about - all professional, all poise and in some cases glamour...
there are those that obviously merit - a first look, some merit a second and a few others merit - a third, fourth and eternal stare but that is expected...

I love their complexity - it is at once their blessing and curse.
The battle of understanding between the sexes remains one of those ever elusive holy grails of humanity - it continues to dodge us to this day...

However, i continue to be stunned at the way I react to them inspite of my mixed feelings - likely indication, I am more confused than them...

I dislike their affectations and attitudes, especially when at the end of the day they will eventually surrender control - some are really very nice others are bitchy and spiteful...

Their emotions are utterly complex and behaviors continue to astound my logical comprehension.

But some years down the line - you get married and settle down and both of you try to make adjustments around each other....

They remind me of dress up dolls - after peeling away the layers - what is left is actually bereft of complexity (still this doesn't over simplify them)...

If I told my girlfriend to wear something sexy - it immediately becomes a potential issue of contention - why should she wear it... Don't I like her choice of clothes? Is she a doll? etc...

Complexity - that's life

What to expect in a world full of suprises?

2008-01-17T11:13:00.000-08:00

In one word - Nothing!
Nada, Zip.

Some days I wake up with sex and lust on my mind. Other days the idea is how to make money and just when you think you've found the formula and ticket to greatness...

You wake up from your pleasant dream to face the uncompromising glare of reality - you're broke most of the time, tired, frustrated on many counts and wishing that destiny would lead you on a white unicorn across the landscape of adventure...

Swipe! Swipe!!
That my friend was the sound of the two slaps I owed you since forever.

As said in one of my old cartons: Expect The Unexpected! A simple rule to avoid the advent of surprises - in this case BAD surprises.

I expect that the girl of my dreams will discover me and profess her undying love...
I expect to be transported to the plains of unbridled passion of which there will be no escape and more importantly I expect no unpleasant surprises.

That said: happy new year - may your dreams see the path way to success and may you find the fulfillment that you seek from your pursuits and endeavors.

In everything you do may you seek the counsel of GOD - in the silence of you conscience.

what they said I shouldn't do...

2007-09-04T04:24:00.000-07:00

they said...

Don't write... Nobody can see it anyway!
Don't stare at women - you'll only embarrass yourself and manage balancing on your "tripod"
Don't dream - you'll only be disappointed...

Don't die... Don't live... Don't breathe...

Too many don't's and not enough Do's...

I came across a VERY beautiful piece that is an absolute treasure - I couldn't help it...
The craving to write hit me like a punch, like lusting after a woman...

I just knew that I had to - even if no one cared to read my words or muse on their meanings...
It didn't matter - it was just an expression of something deeper that needed an outlet.

So without much adieu - I give you the: gapingvoid!
Do NOT - I absolutely insist - that you DO NOT skip the above hyper link...
I would gently suggest that you read this piece and grab back all those dreams that you've put on the back burners to attend to life's mundane and incessant chatter... (just static my friend... just static!)

Just click on the link and thank me later after you've had one of those "ahhhh" moments of self enlightenment that tend to besiege us from time to time.

The summary: Chase that dream like a lover - not because it can make you rich (perhaps in this life time or the next) nor the fact that it COULD bring you fame and fortune or even women (don't hit on that bottle of whiskey so much friend...)

Do it because something in you cries for expression and you've decided to give in to that request

Best advice: K.I.S.S

Women are like Politics...

2007-08-30T09:18:00.000-07:00

I like to look at women...

Excuse me - you ask. Okay you're excused!

I say again, I like to look at women they remind me of governance - they are fairly expansive and well represented... You have the tall, the short, the skinny, the fat, the shapely, the shapeless, the dazzling and equally undazzling, the lovely and ugly...

Bottom Line: They are fairly representative of the differences that can occur within the same.

Like governance: There are implied differences, I came across a hilarious site that took its merry little time to explain to me the differences and I just had to share this with you guys out there...

In case you wish to visit the web site I cuddled from: click here...
Politics Explained

FEUDALISM:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Mind matters...

2007-08-29T01:18:00.000-07:00

The Human Mind...

One of the greatest tools every created - highly adaptable and progressively superior and to think that we're only utilizing 10%...

If you consider this statement simplistic then you have obviously come to the wrong place.
I have come to this conclusion - based on how solutions are proffered to problems.

We can chose to apply long or short term strategies.

I have observed the way solutions are proffered and the manner that our minds especially when applied together to solve the same task can harness a collective power (referred to as the master mind group)

There are of course rules that we must apply consistently to get to this stage of thought - where the bigger picture becomes the road map which guides our path towards a series of solutions.

I found an archive of adages that one can use as a set of "rules" to guide thought and action:

Mental Heuristics

Consider the following rules and see if you can "apply" them to your life.

If you want something done, do it yourself
Comment: Obviously true, and doing it is usually very good for your self esteem. A surprising amount of work can be done this way, and experts are not always necessary. However, there is a risk of becoming overworked if you try to do everything yourself - we all need other people after all.

Never procrastinate anything you can do right now
Comment: Very powerful. There are many things that can be fixed or solved with a minimum of effort, but are often pushed aside as unimportant. Unfortunately they won't go away, and in time the feelings of guilt for not having done them will make you even less likely of fixing the problems.

When you have several things you could be doing and don't know which to do: Just do any one of them!
Comments: If you cannot decide between two or more possibilities, then there is a good chance that the differences don't matter. However, most people begin to hesitate in this kind of situation (Fredkin's paradox). If you are conscious of this, you can just choose one choice randomly or according to some standard method.

Always assume that you will succeed
Comments: If you don't expect to succeed in an endeavor, then you will not do your best and will not notice possible solutions, while if you feel that you will eventually succeed you will concentrate all your power at the problem. Of course, there is no point in attempting what you cannot do, a certain amount of self-knowledge is always needed.

If you can't find a solution, change the rules.
Comment: Remember that there are no no-win scenarios.

If you cannot do anything about something, there is no point in worrying about it.
Comment: Worrying is stressful, and in most situations doesn't accomplish anything - it just wastes energy. Instead of worrying about things, either do something about them or find ways around the problem. One useful idea is to write down your worries on slips of paper, and then put them away in a box. Regularly, once a week or so, you open the box and see what you can do about the worries that are still relevant.

Do not rely on conscious decisions for speed - Just Do It
Comments: The conscious mind is surprisingly slow, conscious choices and actions are delayed for a significant time (a reflex acts within some tens of milliseconds, an unconscious reaction to external stimuli circa 100 milliseconds and a conscious choice several seconds). The duty of the conscious mind is usually to inhibit rather than start action, and if you become too conscious of what you are doing in a tense situation you will hesitate or slow down.
It is a good idea to learn to rely on your non-conscious mind, since our conscious mind is slow and has very low bandwidth while the other systems in our brains have a tremendous capacity and actually do most of the real work anyway.

Don't try to explain away your actions for yourself
Comment: While we often do things we do not want to explain our real motivations for before other people (out of fear of embarrassment, anger or loss of image), it is a bad idea to try to convince oneself that the motivation was anything different from what it was. It will only reduce your self-knowledge with deliberate misinformation, and it is often valuable to understand what motivations you have (even if you dislike them or would never admit them in public).

Listen to your intuition, but do not believe it unconditionally
Comments: Intuitive or emotional thinking, analogies, "gut feelings" or "flashes of inspiration" can sometimes give fantastic new insights or show problems from a new direction. Unfortunately such thinking isn't always reliable, and quite often completely wrong! Such insights should never be accepted because you admire their beauty or they are intuitive, only because they fit with reality.

Music: For the Mind & Soul

2007-08-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

Music is a language for the mind and soul – it resonates in each one of us strong needs, desires and passions – it is different things to each one of us and sometimes a comfort and sometimes a message - a reflection of our varied tastes and personalities…

I have fondness for string based instruments and certain songs rip into me and unleash a torrent of goose bumps – the adage is that you are witnessing the passage of an entity. I couldn’t careless if it was an entity or a bowl of spaghetti – I just love the feeling that such songs evoke…

Music unites and cuts across language and cultural barriers…
I may not understand a word of the song or any part of its lyrics but I feel it somewhere - this is especially true if the song resonates within you.

I could give numerous examples – George Michael – his songs: (Faith & Freedom) – old songs but I still feel that twitch in my head when I hear those songs…

Could I fail to mention – Take that (now disbanded) and their song: (Want You Back for Good). The first time I heard the song – I went into a trance of contentment that left me praying that the song shouldn’t end… It ended and I renewed my relationship with the rewind button – it was a cassette player for heaven’s sake…

Then there’s the Corrs, and a personal favorite of mine: (I will runaway) – I confess to running away every time I listened to or heard that song – I would wake up in the dead of the night just to listen to that song after which I would fall asleep promptly…

This is not to say that I don’t have any preference in the modern category – think R Kelly, Lighthouse Family, Seal, Shade, Michael Jackson, Mario etc – the list is endless.

Of course - how can I talk music without a reference to the Nigerian scene?
It cannot be left out of the round up as that would be smacking of unpatriotism – I can say that there is an almost systematic improvement in the quality of our songs – of course I have come to the very realistic conclusion that we’re better off singing about our peculiar reality and situation (think 2FACE, Faze, Tribesmen (now defunct or splintered), Jerimayah Giyan, Obiwon, P Squared) although variations do exist – A Nigerian is first of all a skeptic and/or Cynic and this makes for an attitude found both in the artist and the audience from the word go.

In most of our songs we talk about the challenges of life: girls,boys, men, women, hardship, poverty, suffering, breakup, makeup, cheating, pain, death etc
Then there is the need to harass and criticize the ruling class/government to change or make changes so that Nigeeria becomes better: Think Edris - (Nigeria Jaga Jaga)...
Perhaps this makes the quality of our songs fairly hard to define – think Majek Fashek: (Send down the Rain) – which I chanted when I was much younger and probably accounted for the reason why the floods for that year where unpresidented but the song still has a timeless ring to it…

Mode9, cino, sasha, Ruggedman cover our rap scene and even when shows like Idols, Nokia First Chance provide us with a genuine opportunity to discover talent even at the risk of ear cancer and/or an ear drum rupture…
We are still willing to take the risk - even for those who actually created a new category titled "how not to sing…"

For the esoteric but truly African music forms think FELA, Lagbaja, Femi Kuti and recent new comer ASA with their strongly African interpretations, each a paradigm in his/her own right.
On a daily basis – we are discovering new and diverse ways to express out thoughts, needs, passions, motivations, interests through the music medium.

Music embodies a philosophy - a way of life, a means to describe life in rich melodic details. A language understood by the soul.

With music there are no countries or boundaries – there is just us and the swirling mist of melodies defining movements for the moment and bring us together.
A few links to get you started on the journey of discovery for Nigerian music and her various styles:

Check out:
1. http://www.naijajams.com – for some takes on the music scene by Nigerians for Nigerians and others….
2. http://www.nigeria-arts.net/Music - generic approach that should provide some additional revelation.
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_of_Nigeria - Wikipedia also have a take on the music scene in nigeria
4. http://www.radiopalmwine.com/ http://music.calabashmusic.com/world/africa/nigeria
6. http://www.agidi.com/music.html
7. http://nigeriaworld.com/articles/2005/feb/271.html - Article titled: WHITHER NIGERIAN MUSIC?
8.

If you happen to cruise through Youtube or Google – do a search for our artists(as listed above) and listen to some of their songs and you’ll agree with me that we’re finally getting our shit together…